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blessing prayer

Jehovah God, heavenly father, creator, and king of the universe. We come before you as two broken and hurting children praying for your blessing of peace and joy. We are willingly giving ourselves to you and wish for your will in our lives. We know it was your will for our lives to cross on our earthly journey and we now wish to know what your eternal will for us is.

We pray that if it is not your will for us to be together that you will remove the tether between us so we may have peace in finding the ones you have created for us. But, if it is your will for us to be together we pray that you will strengthen the bond by weaving a marriage braid out of our souls with your holy spirit as the binding force. A braid so perfectly designed in your spirit that it will hold the test of time because it is your blood that will bind us.

Father, I also ask that you will continue to provide us with the opportunity to build up each other. That all things we say and do to and for each other be to glorify you and to help the other evolve into the child of Christ they were meant to be. That even the things that feel like they are meant to destroy and tear down are in fact the gifts of love to help each other heal and grow closer to each other my becoming closer to you.

And if it is not your will for us to be together I pray for a blessing on my sister in Christ. I pray that she may finally meet the man of God you have designed for her. I ask that you bless them with an abundance of healthy children and a long joyful life together united in you.

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my Queen’s list

she must be a sister in Christ

she must be willing to be the mother of my children

she must be able to deal with and work with me on my problem areas

she must have the intelligence to mesmerize me with her mind and tongue

she must be athletic & healthy

she must communicate with me and let me know when we have a problem and go to counseling if needed

she must never lie to me

she must be willing to fight for our marriage

she must be willing to Love me

she must be my best friend

she must dance with me

she must be willing to share her past, present, and future with me

she must pray for me daily

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thankfulness

Heavenly Father, i am thankful for you every day.

I am thankful for the day and all the opportunities it presents me

I am thankful for her and how she helps me

I am thankful for my family and how they love me

I am thankful for Violet and the memories she gave me

I am thankful for the hopes and dream you give me

I am thankful for my desire to serve and follow you

I am thankful you love me enough to send your son Jesus to die for my sins so i may have everlasting joy with you

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peace

Oh how i wish to know you

How i wish to find you daily

But at last, you elude me

You hide in places i can not find

In a place that feels out of my reach

You tease me with the promise of rest

But all i find is turmoil and distress

I long for your embrace to know i am safe

I feel your hands and know your arms will catch me

And in the end, i have learned i can only be with you if i surrender

I must give up the rights to myself

I must pick up my cross

And I must follow you

My answer is yes, Lord.

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sacrificial surrender

What does it mean to surrender to your will

What will i sacrifice for your will

Will i sacrifice my own will

Will i sacrifice my our desires

Will i sacrifice the need to be right

Will i sacrifice the need to be happy

Will i sacrifice the hope of love

Will i sacrifice the joy of her touch

Will i sacrifice my fatherhood

Will i sacrifice everything with the promise of nothing

The answer is yes

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trust

If i trust you what will happen

If i trust you will the pain stop

If i trust you will the fear go away

If i trust you will the emptiness leave me

If i trust you will i find happiness

If i trust you will joy enter my heart

If i trust you will my soul know peace

If i truly trust you would it matter

I will trust you

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will you

Will you see me again

Or will you say no

Will you talk to me again

Or will you say no

Will you walk with me again

Or will you say no

Will you run in the woods with me

Or will you say no

Will you cuddle with me

Or will you say no

Will you grow with me

Or will you say no

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fear

What is fear

Why do i fear it

Why do i fear what i do not know

Why do i fear what i do not control

If i have no power over it, why does it have power over me

It doesn’t make me young it makes me old

I doesn’t make me happy it makes me sad

It robs me of my energy and burdens me with pain

It is like a dark night or a grey cloud that never ends

Every night it follows me to bed

And every morning i start anew and give it to you

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not no

Not no, but not now. What does this mean? Does it mean to let go, but not move on, or does it mean let go, move on, and wait? This question haunts my days, nights, and dreams. I am not sure which i fear more. Not knowing if i am hearing right or hearing what i don’t want to hear.